I've been struggling this last week to cope - a combination of some family things and seven weeks into being on my own at work (where normally I have a team member) It got so bad I was waking in the early hours panicking and anxious. On Tuesday, exhausted, I ended up having a good cry at work. And I'm not used to doing that! But, God had arranged things and a lovely christian lady came and spent some time with me and prayed for me. Afterwards I felt better and was able to carry on with my work, where as before I just couldn't. We also meet a few of us at a church lunch club on a Tuesday and usually pray for a short time at the end. So I could share there and again someone prayed for me
On the train on the way home, I thought, 'I know I'll read a psalm, there's bound to be encouragement there!' The figure 81 popped into my head:
Psalm 81, v 6-7
6 "Now I will take the load from your shoulders;
I will free your hands from their heavy tasks.
7 You cried to me in trouble, and I saved you;
I answered out of the thundercloud
and tested your faith when there was no water at Meribah. Interlude
And I'm still holdng onto that verse! Funnily enough at the mens curry night and earlier in the week other people shared with me how sometimes they had this not sleeping thing. Or early waking with things on their mind. I had the picture of keeping spinning plates going. Letting go to God is letting go those plates. The fear is that they will all come crashing to the ground! In a way we almost have to say, 'OK God, I'm just going to let them crash', ie be prepared to let the worst happen. It's then that God steps in and handles things - and He often surprises us in the exact way He does handle things.
So, I am still struggling with that process above and feeling very run down. However, I have been praying more when waking and there has been peace in between. This morning I slept through till 6 after an early night, hallelujah!
I've wondered all week what the last line of verse 7 meant and maybe it's come to me this morning!
'no water at Meribah' = 'no strength of my own left'
'tested your faith' just that, ie there follows a natural test of your faith because you are forced to face relying on God more
So if you're feeling similar, I pray you are encouraged and comforted by my 'story', this week
Andy
Friday 21 May 2010
Monday 10 May 2010
Oasis
Hi
Had a great morning saturday at Oasis! It's amazing how resistant I felt to going, a bit like church sometimes! Though I've mostly learnt to use that feeling as a trigger to be determined to go, because there's good things from God waiting for me! Also, the first hour I just could not chill, I was like 'what time is it now, do I really have to be here till 12-30, three hours away?', and, 'ok, ok, c'mon, what's happening next then?' The next hour I did begin to feel the Holy Spirit's presence, though inevitably my mind wandered! It was as if the Lord was saying come on, come deeper, holding out His hand and wanting me to follow (deep calls out to deep)
I have been reading Psalm 46 this last week and that was one of the scriptures handed out to us during the morning along with Psalm 23, particulalry "He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul' Other readings were:
Psalm 121, "3 He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber".
Psalm 138: 1, 7 & 8 "8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life - for your faithful love, O Lord , endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me",
Isaiah 54:10 10 For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken," says the Lord , who has mercy on you
Psalm 139: 7-10
Footprints in the Sand was also read
And eventually I did get to still waters (about mid morning). I borrowed a cushion from the pile and lay down behind the pulpit at the front and just felt all the stress and strain gradually go out of my neck, back of head and shoulders - it was just so good! (and I didn't even know I had been carrying that around!)
At the end people shared:
A picture of stones being gradually washed smooth by the waves - God dealing gently with us and shaping us into what he created us for? Something beautifull and purposefull
A picture of a surfer relentlessly being knocked off their board, instead of riding the big waves all the way to the last little one then gliding in smoothly to the shore - our striving versus letting go and letting God bring us into the shore
Someone shared that they had really heard God's voice clearly and literally been in conversation with God, it's possible to learn how to do this, if you are interested I have a book and some notes from the first Oasis session when a visiting speaker explained something about this . .let me know
A birds eye view of someone in a round wooden structure with no roof. All the way round were doors with bad things written on them, eg shame, degradation, anger, fear, guilt. This person was looking anxiously at the doors and occasionally rushing to shut one. Then the picture changes to massive building blocks being built round the wooden structure, so the doors served no purpose any more and none of these bad things could threaten any more. A roof was put on the building, the roof was called Salvation. This was for me (and it may be for you in the same or a different way), I sometimes suffer from a disaster mentality, ie I imagine all sorts of horrible things, like the kids getting run over, or if something does happen I assume the very worst! The dish washer wasn't working yesterday and I immediatly thought 'oh no we cant afford a new one!' it was just the fuse of course! This disaster mentality, (when I'm feeling like this), can leave me on edge all the time, trying to manage things so there is no disaster! (there is no disaster, but the way I'm feeling there may as well be one!) - so I need to remember that song, 'The Lord is a strong tower' and run into it! OR The Lord has surrounded me with his strong protection, thanks Lord!
A picture of walking in the sand with solid rock underneath He is a sure foundation, totally dependable, Jesus never lets us down!
Had a great morning saturday at Oasis! It's amazing how resistant I felt to going, a bit like church sometimes! Though I've mostly learnt to use that feeling as a trigger to be determined to go, because there's good things from God waiting for me! Also, the first hour I just could not chill, I was like 'what time is it now, do I really have to be here till 12-30, three hours away?', and, 'ok, ok, c'mon, what's happening next then?' The next hour I did begin to feel the Holy Spirit's presence, though inevitably my mind wandered! It was as if the Lord was saying come on, come deeper, holding out His hand and wanting me to follow (deep calls out to deep)
I have been reading Psalm 46 this last week and that was one of the scriptures handed out to us during the morning along with Psalm 23, particulalry "He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul' Other readings were:
Psalm 121, "3 He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber".
Psalm 138: 1, 7 & 8 "8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life - for your faithful love, O Lord , endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me",
Isaiah 54:10 10 For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken," says the Lord , who has mercy on you
Psalm 139: 7-10
Footprints in the Sand was also read
And eventually I did get to still waters (about mid morning). I borrowed a cushion from the pile and lay down behind the pulpit at the front and just felt all the stress and strain gradually go out of my neck, back of head and shoulders - it was just so good! (and I didn't even know I had been carrying that around!)
At the end people shared:
A picture of stones being gradually washed smooth by the waves - God dealing gently with us and shaping us into what he created us for? Something beautifull and purposefull
A picture of a surfer relentlessly being knocked off their board, instead of riding the big waves all the way to the last little one then gliding in smoothly to the shore - our striving versus letting go and letting God bring us into the shore
Someone shared that they had really heard God's voice clearly and literally been in conversation with God, it's possible to learn how to do this, if you are interested I have a book and some notes from the first Oasis session when a visiting speaker explained something about this . .let me know
A birds eye view of someone in a round wooden structure with no roof. All the way round were doors with bad things written on them, eg shame, degradation, anger, fear, guilt. This person was looking anxiously at the doors and occasionally rushing to shut one. Then the picture changes to massive building blocks being built round the wooden structure, so the doors served no purpose any more and none of these bad things could threaten any more. A roof was put on the building, the roof was called Salvation. This was for me (and it may be for you in the same or a different way), I sometimes suffer from a disaster mentality, ie I imagine all sorts of horrible things, like the kids getting run over, or if something does happen I assume the very worst! The dish washer wasn't working yesterday and I immediatly thought 'oh no we cant afford a new one!' it was just the fuse of course! This disaster mentality, (when I'm feeling like this), can leave me on edge all the time, trying to manage things so there is no disaster! (there is no disaster, but the way I'm feeling there may as well be one!) - so I need to remember that song, 'The Lord is a strong tower' and run into it! OR The Lord has surrounded me with his strong protection, thanks Lord!
A picture of walking in the sand with solid rock underneath He is a sure foundation, totally dependable, Jesus never lets us down!
Friday 7 May 2010
When Our River Runs Dry
In 95 or may be 96, I used to regularly go to a Sauna/Spa and often got to chatting with a few different people. Sat in the Jacuzzi one time I got chatting to a guy from Wigan who had had an accident, I think a car or motorbike had hit him from behind. He told me how, being in constant pain, he sought relief in a spiritualist church. He also told me, however, that he had tried to stop attending and that they were hounding him on the phone, really scaring him in an abusive way - I can't remember the exact details but it was spiritual attacks, possibly using anti Christian imagery, they obviously had some kind of hold over him. I had read a little at that time (but, didn't really know anything about delivery from such things) and asked him if he had been invited to accept a 'spiritual guide' in any of these services, he said no. A few weeks later I suggested to him that he allow me to organise some prayer for him. We managed to do this with a couple of people skilled in this area. I can't remember the exact sequence of events; however, after prayer one of the other’s interviewed him about his experience at the spiritualist church. It turned out he did accept a 'spiritual guide' and was told that this was a Chinese artist from the 19th century (a deceit). He was asked to repent of his involvement, which he did in prayer. Then one of us prayed, in the name of Jesus, for this spirit to leave him. During that prayer a vivid picture of a jester laughing and leering horribly suddenly popped into my mind and made me jump! I instinctively said, 'who are you laughing at, Jesus is laughing at you!', and it went immediately, which was a great relief! Afterward the guy appeared drunk/woozy and joyous, which I now take to be an infilling of the Holy Spirit, and/or some kind of release of inner joy, previously stopped up. It turned out he had once attended a church and we gave him information about attending church, contact details, etc, so hopefully he could continue with his healing journey. I have never met the guy again and I pray God continues to bless him whenever I remember what happened.
Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble.
2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come
and the mountains crumble into the sea.
3 Let the oceans roar and foam.
Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! Interlude
4 A river brings joy to the city of our God,
the sacred home of the Most High.
5 God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.
From the very break of day, God will protect it.
"This psalm encourages to hope and trust in God; in his power and providence, and his gracious presence with his church in the worst of times. We may apply it to spiritual enemies, and the encouragement we have that, through Christ, we shall be conquerors over them. He is a Help, a present Help, a Help found, one whom we have found to be so; a Help at hand, one that is always near; we cannot desire a better, nor shall we ever find the like in any creature. Let those be troubled at the troubling of the waters, who build their confidence on a floating foundation; but let not those be alarmed who are led to the Rock, and there find firm footing. Here is joy to the church, even in sorrowful times. The river alludes to the graces and consolations of the Holy Spirit, which flow through every part of the church, and through God's sacred ordinances, gladdening the heart of every believer. It is promised that the church shall not be moved. If God be in our hearts, by his word dwelling richly in us, we shall be established, we shall be helped; let us trust and not be afraid." Matthew Henry Bible Commentary - Matthew Henry 1662-1714
'spiritual enemies'
We may not face daily spiritual enemies as dramatically revealed as in the story above, however, the reality is we do each day have the choice as to whether we battle against instincts that would have us act dismissively, with a bad temper or with jealousy, for example. A number of us may be facing very trying circumstances, our health, the health of another, financial worries or family/friend worries. In all these circumstances we have choices. I guess we firstly have to recognise the bad choices, we can be angry with God but lets not stay with that, rather move on (flick through Psalms to see how David handled anger). Similarly we may be tempted to become bitter, morose or self pityfull. All may have their place for a while, we certainly need to move on though.
Perhaps we are praying for a breakthrough for someone else, or perhaps we have given up. So what do we do? How do we battle spiritual enemies?
'word dwelling richly in us'
Let the word (or message) of Christ dwell richly in you (Colossians 3:16). What is the message of Christ? Healing, forgiveness, reconciliation, redemption, restoration and provision, for example. What are the different ways we can move into these? Prayer, action(go say sorry to someone and or to God) bible study and worship on our own, in the car, on the train, whilst walking, when we first wake, during a quiet time, always have a Christian book on the go, play Christian music whenever you can. We can do all of these things with others – I find these things most intimately and effectively done in a prayer triplet and small/house group setting – join one if you are not in one!
We should take the opportunity of going to Oasis at church (a quiet morning where you get the chance for the Holy Spirit to minister to you and just to ‘rest’ in God’s presence, no pressure!) – Oasis 9-00 am Saturday the 8th of May/, St Peters, Church road Bolton.
'river of joy'
I really like, Matthew Henry’s, ‘Here is joy to the church, even in sorrowful times’ and from the bible, ‘A river brings joy to the city of our God’. It is possible to be in sad times and feel joy. Like a lot of prophecies this applies in a number of different ways. One way to look at this verse is to just say, ‘yep, that’s wonderful, that’s what it will be like in heaven’. In another sense though we are the spiritual city of God now and we are in a growing fulfilment of this picture. We can rightly seek a greater fulfilment both individually and together. So what is our spiritual reality and how do we come to experience what we read in this psalm. I mean I know we are saved and on our way to heaven but what about in the mean time? Maybe you are saying to yourself ‘I keep trying to do those things you mention Andy, but, it’s a massive effort, the words on the page are just words, I’m distracted when I start praying and it’s an effort to put some Christian music on and when I do, it’s just music and nothing more, so I give up’ How can we ‘prime our pumps’ ? Seek out someone, a friend, someone on the ministry team and get prayed for*, ask God to uncover your hunger. We all naturally have that spiritual hunger, just like we have physical hunger, it may need unblocking. Sometimes people have a problem with their appetite and they have to force feed themselves the first few mouthfuls before their appetite naturally returns, spiritually we sometimes have to do the same.
You may see fairly immediate results, if not keep seeking, persevere.
*We see in the bible instructions for the laying on of hands (and anointing with oil for healing) for consecration to a task, gifts/power (for example, Timothy, Stephen, in the bible) – seek it out, even for the smallest reason or even if you are not sure why – this is for every believer to do and receive
'every believer'
“12 The person who trusts me will not only do what I’m doing but even greater things, because I, on my way to the Father, am giving you the same work to do that I’ve been doing. You can count on it.13 From now on, whatever you request along the lines of who I am and what I am doing, I’ll do it. That’s how the Father will be seen for who he is in the Son. I mean it" John 14:12-13
“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds” 2 Corinthians 10:4
When you pray imagine in your mind ascending to God’s throne, now just slightly above you. Across from you is the person (or a visualisation of a problem eg pile of money) you are praying for, ask God to reveal to you the strongholds that are in the way of what is on your heart, then cast them down in the name of Jesus. Ask Jesus to bind them and send them to a place where they will remain till judgement day. Imagine them tied up, shrinking, falling away from you into a deep dark hole. Then look to Jesus on the throne and see his smiling/laughing/approving/affirming face.
By the way if you are really suffering I don’t mean to be simplistic or give hard words. I became depressed in 1999 and suffered a breakdown in 2000, from which it took me about four years to fully recover. Then, spiritually I was up and down a bit, largely asleep, if not spiritually dopey! This continued until two very significant things happened. My mum died in April 2008 and shortly after I went to Ansdell Baptist Church (Southport) and had a powerful experience of the Holy Spirit through laying on of hands (ask me if you want to know what a Holy Spirit/human 'fire tunnel' is!). With others from the parish I visited there on Friday nights and received continued blessings for my grief, a real invigoration, and a fantastic experience of joy (which still comes, and somehow I know how to get ‘there’, most of the time) I have seen a change in myself, as have others, in terms of my witness, blessing others, etc
Don't forget, the Lord is good to you all the time!
Amen? yes AMEN!
Andy
ps this is a good blog http://hiswill4me.blogspot.com/
Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble.
2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come
and the mountains crumble into the sea.
3 Let the oceans roar and foam.
Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! Interlude
4 A river brings joy to the city of our God,
the sacred home of the Most High.
5 God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.
From the very break of day, God will protect it.
"This psalm encourages to hope and trust in God; in his power and providence, and his gracious presence with his church in the worst of times. We may apply it to spiritual enemies, and the encouragement we have that, through Christ, we shall be conquerors over them. He is a Help, a present Help, a Help found, one whom we have found to be so; a Help at hand, one that is always near; we cannot desire a better, nor shall we ever find the like in any creature. Let those be troubled at the troubling of the waters, who build their confidence on a floating foundation; but let not those be alarmed who are led to the Rock, and there find firm footing. Here is joy to the church, even in sorrowful times. The river alludes to the graces and consolations of the Holy Spirit, which flow through every part of the church, and through God's sacred ordinances, gladdening the heart of every believer. It is promised that the church shall not be moved. If God be in our hearts, by his word dwelling richly in us, we shall be established, we shall be helped; let us trust and not be afraid." Matthew Henry Bible Commentary - Matthew Henry 1662-1714
'spiritual enemies'
We may not face daily spiritual enemies as dramatically revealed as in the story above, however, the reality is we do each day have the choice as to whether we battle against instincts that would have us act dismissively, with a bad temper or with jealousy, for example. A number of us may be facing very trying circumstances, our health, the health of another, financial worries or family/friend worries. In all these circumstances we have choices. I guess we firstly have to recognise the bad choices, we can be angry with God but lets not stay with that, rather move on (flick through Psalms to see how David handled anger). Similarly we may be tempted to become bitter, morose or self pityfull. All may have their place for a while, we certainly need to move on though.
Perhaps we are praying for a breakthrough for someone else, or perhaps we have given up. So what do we do? How do we battle spiritual enemies?
'word dwelling richly in us'
Let the word (or message) of Christ dwell richly in you (Colossians 3:16). What is the message of Christ? Healing, forgiveness, reconciliation, redemption, restoration and provision, for example. What are the different ways we can move into these? Prayer, action(go say sorry to someone and or to God) bible study and worship on our own, in the car, on the train, whilst walking, when we first wake, during a quiet time, always have a Christian book on the go, play Christian music whenever you can. We can do all of these things with others – I find these things most intimately and effectively done in a prayer triplet and small/house group setting – join one if you are not in one!
We should take the opportunity of going to Oasis at church (a quiet morning where you get the chance for the Holy Spirit to minister to you and just to ‘rest’ in God’s presence, no pressure!) – Oasis 9-00 am Saturday the 8th of May/, St Peters, Church road Bolton.
'river of joy'
I really like, Matthew Henry’s, ‘Here is joy to the church, even in sorrowful times’ and from the bible, ‘A river brings joy to the city of our God’. It is possible to be in sad times and feel joy. Like a lot of prophecies this applies in a number of different ways. One way to look at this verse is to just say, ‘yep, that’s wonderful, that’s what it will be like in heaven’. In another sense though we are the spiritual city of God now and we are in a growing fulfilment of this picture. We can rightly seek a greater fulfilment both individually and together. So what is our spiritual reality and how do we come to experience what we read in this psalm. I mean I know we are saved and on our way to heaven but what about in the mean time? Maybe you are saying to yourself ‘I keep trying to do those things you mention Andy, but, it’s a massive effort, the words on the page are just words, I’m distracted when I start praying and it’s an effort to put some Christian music on and when I do, it’s just music and nothing more, so I give up’ How can we ‘prime our pumps’ ? Seek out someone, a friend, someone on the ministry team and get prayed for*, ask God to uncover your hunger. We all naturally have that spiritual hunger, just like we have physical hunger, it may need unblocking. Sometimes people have a problem with their appetite and they have to force feed themselves the first few mouthfuls before their appetite naturally returns, spiritually we sometimes have to do the same.
You may see fairly immediate results, if not keep seeking, persevere.
*We see in the bible instructions for the laying on of hands (and anointing with oil for healing) for consecration to a task, gifts/power (for example, Timothy, Stephen, in the bible) – seek it out, even for the smallest reason or even if you are not sure why – this is for every believer to do and receive
'every believer'
“12 The person who trusts me will not only do what I’m doing but even greater things, because I, on my way to the Father, am giving you the same work to do that I’ve been doing. You can count on it.13 From now on, whatever you request along the lines of who I am and what I am doing, I’ll do it. That’s how the Father will be seen for who he is in the Son. I mean it" John 14:12-13
“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds” 2 Corinthians 10:4
When you pray imagine in your mind ascending to God’s throne, now just slightly above you. Across from you is the person (or a visualisation of a problem eg pile of money) you are praying for, ask God to reveal to you the strongholds that are in the way of what is on your heart, then cast them down in the name of Jesus. Ask Jesus to bind them and send them to a place where they will remain till judgement day. Imagine them tied up, shrinking, falling away from you into a deep dark hole. Then look to Jesus on the throne and see his smiling/laughing/approving/affirming face.
By the way if you are really suffering I don’t mean to be simplistic or give hard words. I became depressed in 1999 and suffered a breakdown in 2000, from which it took me about four years to fully recover. Then, spiritually I was up and down a bit, largely asleep, if not spiritually dopey! This continued until two very significant things happened. My mum died in April 2008 and shortly after I went to Ansdell Baptist Church (Southport) and had a powerful experience of the Holy Spirit through laying on of hands (ask me if you want to know what a Holy Spirit/human 'fire tunnel' is!). With others from the parish I visited there on Friday nights and received continued blessings for my grief, a real invigoration, and a fantastic experience of joy (which still comes, and somehow I know how to get ‘there’, most of the time) I have seen a change in myself, as have others, in terms of my witness, blessing others, etc
Don't forget, the Lord is good to you all the time!
Amen? yes AMEN!
Andy
ps this is a good blog http://hiswill4me.blogspot.com/
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